The Kindness In Getting Someone’s Name Right
Five letters. D-A-F-N-E. Commonly mistaken for ‘Daphne’, ‘Dafney’, ‘Daphnie’, or ‘Daphane’. While they might sound the same to you, that’s not my name (cue the song we all know is now playing in your head).
Teffny is just one of my many alter egos.
My first name, although simple, is spelled in a relatively uncommon way. So, I tend to be very understanding when I get the common misspellings. However, I do take issue when the error stems from a form of ignorance or idleness.
My Spanish speaking parents chose the spelling according to our native language. That’s why it’s important to me that the spelling of my name be respected.
Most people tend to require a deeper meaning in someone’s name to feel compelled to spell it correctly. It is my humble opinion that a meaning or lack thereof is not justification for misspelling another person’s name.
Eight letters. E-S-T-R-E-L-L-A. Pronounced ‘es-tre-ya’. In Spanish, it means star. From a young age, I chose to spare myself the embarrassment of hearing mocking pronouncements like ‘Australia’.
So, I stuck with introducing myself the way you’d expect, “Hi, my name is Dafne Es-tre-la”. I figured, why nag others to pronounce a word in a language they don’t speak? I told myself it wasn’t a big deal.
Today, I regret making that mistake years ago. Now, when I try to explain to others how to properly pronounce my last name they remind me that I’ve never pronounced it that way before. I then get stuck in the vicious cycle of having to justify the spelling and pronunciation of my name. Doesn’t sound nice, does it?
It was Chick-Fil-A’s pleasure to serve Daffney that day.
If a deeper meaning will justify it- Estrella represents far more than a shining ball of light in the sky. For me, it represents the unwavering strength of my parents. The valor to leave behind the familiarity and comfort of their native country in search of opportunity.
More than twenty-two years ago, my parents abandoned their home country in hopes of providing me with opportunities they never had. Their courage to sacrifice everything and start from scratch in a new country with an unfamiliar culture and language reminds me of how fortunate I am.
While I recognize most people mean no harm when they mispronounce or misspell names, I also acknowledge the kindness in those who go out of their way to ensure I feel respected. I see it in the way the rest of my friends or family with uncommon names or spellings struggle with pointing out to others the proper way to say or spell their names.
It takes a lot to correct others, especially when we focus on protecting their feelings or trying not to be a nuisance. Yet, If I’ve learned anything in the past few years is that it's okay to feel a little upset when people don’t get it right.
